p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }Yet, while we may not fit into the extreme examples above, most of us must confront energies of control at different points in our life, especially in relationships. As a psychic it is amazing how often I see people absorbed within the illusion of control. Being lost of the illusion control doesn't necessarily mean you are in control of the situation. Most often people aspiring to control life tend to be in a constant state of frustration because things just don't keep working out they had planned. Do you feel your life would be happier if you weren't being constantly blocked by other people's issues of problems? If you answered yes, then you most likely have a control issue.
Life never turns out the way we plan
For people stuck in control energies the idea that life does not turn out to be way we plan is like a terrible and frightening truth. It creates insecurity and uncertainty, a feeling of being out-of-control. Most people stuck in control energies spend their life vacillating between feeling happy and in control and unhappy and out of control.
I think dieting is a great example of how control never works. For many women(and more men now too) there are two simple states of feelings about our body - I am happy, slim and eating correctly. I am miserable, overweight and eating badly. Our body becomes like a beast we are trying to control but simply won't obey our mind's orders. Your mind says 'eat that healthy piece of celery' and you body says 'stuff the celery, I want chocolate.' Sometimes the mind wins for a while and you get slim and other times the body wins and you are looking like one of the 'celebs gone fat' pinups.
In relationships we do the same thing. I feel happy when my partner is telling me how much he loves me, and he is doing all the right things, and I am unhappy when he is not doing the right things. We things aren't going right we spend our time trying to control our partner to try and make it right again.
How to break the control cycle?
Step One – Realize control never works. The biggest problem is that most people see some point in their life(or others life) where they think control works. 'Oh look Jennifer Aniston lost all that weight through her 'never eat' diet. Of course we fail to notice Jennifer three months later in the 'looks whose got fat' issue of Now Magazine. Control is always a quick fix which will only work for so long.
Step Two – Stop struggling to 'get what you want.'. Learn to accept what life presents you. We think our misery comes from not getting what we want in life but most of our misery comes from struggling to control our circumstances. Learn to surrender to life and you will find that other fruits are bound to grow.
Step Three – Work with others to achieve your goals. Many people end up feeling they are battling against others to achieve happiness. If you believe that the world is hostile place and people only look after themselves, then that that is the world you create for yourself. If you have been badly hurt before don't let this poison your relationships with others.
Letting go of control is one of the most liberating things you can do. Its like going on a fun ride at an amusement park or floating down a stream. There is a joy in the unknown. There is nothing more boring than a controlled life. Change is interesting even if it is sometimes painful. Learn to dance with the spirit of change and the demon of control will disappear.
